Here’s the secret… Anger is a signal, not a strategy.

When something pushes us to the point of anger or outrage, many people respond with a flawed plan: they try to use anger as their strategy for addressing the issue.

But anger, when used this way, often leads to yelling, outbursts, or even violence. Sure, that might get attention — but it rarely solves the actual problem. In fact, it often creates more conflict.

Another way people misuse anger is by trying to spread it — stirring others into outrage in the hopes that collective anger will drive change. But here’s the truth: anger alone doesn’t create change. Action does.

Real change happens when anger is recognized for what it truly is — a signal that something is wrong. That signal can be powerful and motivating, but it’s only the starting point. From there, it’s about taking a breath, identifying what needs to change, creating a clear plan, and following through with purposeful action.

When we use anger as a signal and a motivator — rather than a strategy — we turn raw emotion into meaningful progress. That’s how real change happens.

The Power of Healthy Outrage: Why Anger Shouldn’t Be a Strategy

Here’s a rundown of things to consider:

Anger as a Signal

Anger is an emotional alarm system. It often signals:

• A boundary has been crossed

• You feel disrespected or unseen

• You're experiencing injustice (toward yourself or others)

• You're in pain, but the pain is masked by fury

• You're scared, overwhelmed, or feeling powerless

It’s like the “check engine” light in a car — it doesn’t fix the problem, but it lets you know to stop and investigate what’s under the hood.

Anger as a Poor Strategy

When anger becomes the strategy — yelling, blaming, withdrawing, or trying to control — it often:

• Escalates conflict rather than resolving it

• Damages relationships

• Leaves the real issue unaddressed

• Reinforces a cycle of defensiveness and reactivity

Instead of using anger as a plan of action, the goal is to pause and decode it.

What to Do Instead

1. Feel it without acting on it immediately:
   Give yourself space. Breathe. Let the intensity settle so clarity can rise.

2. Get curious about what’s beneath it:
   Ask: What am I really needing right now? What value feels violated? What pain is trying to speak?

3. Name it and claim it:
   Rather than shouting or shutting down, use "I feel" statements.

Choose a constructive response:
Whether it's setting a boundary, asking for a change, or just allowing yourself to process, lead with intention — not reaction.

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For insight on life, love, and relationships check out The Learning Love Podcast and my YouTube channel.

Love well, everyone.

Mark