“For me, I am driven by two main philosophies: know more today about the world than I knew yesterday and lessen the suffering of others. You'd be surprised how far that gets you.” — Neil deGrasse Tyson

This quote from the renowned scientist speaks to his view of the world and his personal philosophy—but I believe it applies just as powerfully to relationships. If you approach each day with the goal of understanding your partner a little more deeply and making their life a little better, you’re already practicing a strong foundation for a healthy relationship.

And it doesn’t stop there. This mindset carries over into family, friendships, and even our work. When we truly care—whether for a person or a purpose—we stay curious, keep learning, and look for ways to bring more light, life, and enjoyment into every moment we can.

Keeping the Spark Alive: Daily Habits for Stronger Relationships

Let’s Dive a Little Deeper into this Idea

"To know more today than I knew yesterday" — Growth in Relationships

• Practice active curiosity
  Ask questions. Seek to understand your partner’s, friend’s, or family member’s inner world, evolving needs, and past experiences.

• Stay teachable
  Let go of the need to be right. Be open to feedback and correction without defensiveness.

• Reflect daily
  Consider what went well and what didn’t. How did you show up today? What would you do differently tomorrow?

• Update your understanding
  People change. Keep learning who they are becoming, not just who they were when you first met.

• Invest in emotional intelligence
  Deepen your understanding of triggers, body language, communication styles, and emotional needs—both yours and theirs.

• Apply what you learn
  Don’t just learn in theory. Practice new communication skills, coping tools, or love languages in real-time.

"To lessen the suffering of others" — Compassion in Relationships

• Be emotionally present
  Listen without trying to fix. Validate emotions. Make space for vulnerability.

• Offer small acts of kindness
  A loving text, a warm meal, a listening ear — small gestures often ease burdens more than grand solutions.

• Respect each other’s pain
  Don’t compare struggles. What feels small to you might be heavy to someone else.

• Be a safe space
  Strive to be the person someone can come to without fear of judgment or shame.

• Help regulate, not escalate
  In conflict, stay calm and grounded. Avoid words or actions that inflame pain, and instead co-regulate through empathy and connection.

• Honor boundaries
  Recognizing and respecting limits is one of the most compassionate things you can do for another person.

• Support healing, not control
  Encourage each other's growth and healing without trying to take over or rescue. Empower, don’t overpower.

Bringing It Together: A Relationship Philosophy

• Grow yourself to love better.
  Personal development isn’t selfish — it expands your capacity to show up for others with clarity, maturity, and care.

• Ease the weight others carry.
  Whether through listening, laughing, helping, or holding space — commit to making life lighter for the people you love.

• Let each day be a chance to love wiser.
  Relationships aren’t built in grand gestures, but in small moments of learning, kindness, and care repeated over time.

Learning Love is available at Barnes and Noble. Order your copy today.

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For insight on life, love, and relationships check out The Learning Love Podcast and my YouTube channel.

Love well, everyone.

Mark